Since a while now I have become restless and uncomfortable. My safe-space seemed to shrink. The walls seemed more and more like a prison intend on keeping me locked up instead of a barrier to hide behind.

It was time for a change. My truth had shifted. A moment of clarity and the walls came tumbling down. I quickly decided to tell everybody I met ” I’m picking up my art career.” No more excuses and distractions. My course is set and if I fail I’ll pick myself up and have another go. Ultimately I will know I’ve tried.

Ultimately I will know I’ve tried.

The toughest part is to be relentless in my pursuit of this goal I have set. My old life is like a swamp trying to suck me back into lethargy. The false sense of safety it offers. The “not trying is not failing – maybe tomorrow – nobody cares”. This rhetoric of failure keeps popping up and it’s a real battle trying to shut it up. I’ve been there before and I know if I keep at it long enough it will grow less until one faithful day I’ll notice it’s not there anymore.

And the there’s work to be done, kids to manage and relationships to maintain but that’s for another time.

(I did it, a personal blogpost. Hurray! Long may I live)

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